Today on MyPatrimony.com will talk about how important is the Living Will based on Carmen´s point of view. An alias to respect her privacy according to her instructions.
Carmen told us that it is not common talking about death and that it is a subject most of us do not feel comfortable to talk about. In her own words:
“having this conversation might be a gift for parents and children”.
From Mypatrimony we completely share Carmen´s wisdom and we´d like to add that despite all this mainly for your kids, knowing your parent wills regarding medical cares to be received when they cannot decide for themselves is an invaluable gift.
This is precisely what happened to Carmen. Her 79 years old dad told her what to do if due to his cardiovascular disease he was kept in a vegetative state or close to death.
Carmen´s dad has always been in good condition but he was experiencing the first memory lack symptoms quite common at his age, but he was never hospitalized.
It was just june last year, one year ago, when he had his first heart stroke. After several exams doctors told them both that his heart has suffered a lot and that its state was weak so it was likely to suffer more strokes but they also warned them of the high risks of entering into surgery at his age.
After talking to the doctors they remain sad and thoughtful: they will face death again since Carmen´s mom died 5 years ago. Memories where more alive than ever.
Convalescence lasted around twenty days, therefore they talked a lot. Her dad had a good sense of humor and he knew how to say sad thing drawing an smile in his face. Was one of those afternoons they spent together at the hospital room when he told her he had been thinking about living wills and that he had decided to have it done, because under any circumstance he wanted to go under a risky operation to enlarge what nature considered as expired.
Carmen instantly got her dad´s message and when he said to her:
“I trust you”
she knew he decided it was her the one to make his living will.
After twenty days, Carmen´s dad went out of the hospital but none of them knew he was coming back really soon.
Not even one week afterwards Carmen received a call from the hospital. When she arrived her father was unconscious. He suffered another stroke even stronger than the previous one. Doctors told her that they needed to get him into surgery right away to try to safe her father´s life but with any warranty.
So, she came back to the room where her father lied and she realised what she was going to do: what her dad wanted to as express by himself in his living will.
She said to the doctor her dad had a living will where he decided he only wanted to have palliative care if he founded himself in a situation like the one he is now. So it was done and after three days he decided not to awake anymore. Her father died in peace.
This is the message Carmen wanted to share with MyPatrimony and she sends to all of you reading this page:
“If you do not know what your parents´s wills are regarding how to behave in an extreme case, in case they are in the verge of death, you have to ask them right away. If you are a parent you better do it now so you help your children to talk about it as my father did. Every day I miss him, but I know I have acted as my father wanted me to and I am sure he would have done it the same for me.”
A few days after her father died Carmen signed her own living will, so the person she designed as representant will be the one who does the same she did for her dad and it looks like if some of her family and friends have done it too.
If you haven´t done it yet please start to question yourself about the importance of having an instrument like this, so you can DECIDE about such an important and personal issue as your own life.